Change: Grieve, Reflect, Adapt

Here we are in the last week of January and I’m only on my second blog entry. A life and death situation interrupted my plans; my mother-in-law and friend died of cancer on January 11th. We miss her terribly, but are grateful for her full and active life of 88 years.

Events like this have a way of making you take stock of your own life; your relationships, your goals, your career, and your priorities. The resolutions of a new year are parlor games compared to reflecting on what you have actually accomplished with your life and what you want to do with the time you still have. I know – this is kind of heavy for a blog, but here’s the thing I get out of it…

To be content in this life, you have to embrace change and impermanence. You have to not be too attached to things the way they are at any given moment, and must make the most of each situation. Sounds simplistic, right? Well, it is simple. It’s just not easy.

At my mother-in-law’s funeral, I saw people who were integral to my life growing up who I hadn’t seen in years. I said things to friends and family who gathered which should get said more often. The whole family made an incredible new friend in the amazing lady who helped us all through the last hours of Mom’s life, consoled us after, and led the memorial services. I actually sang in public again after 15 years! As much as we regret Mom’s passing, I cannot regret any one of these related events. The truth? If we allow ourselves to find them, every crisis offers benefits.

There is a definite parallel here to what has happened in my career lately. Seven years ago, I was incredibly lucky to secure a dream job as the head of the training & behavior education department for a major pet product company. The opportunities, experiences, and growth exceeded my wildest dreams; it was a wonderful ride. A year and a half ago, I learned that life as I knew it at Premier was going to end. It felt like a death to me; the Premier I loved would cease to be. I cried for days, both in the office and at home. My grief was debilitating.

I had poured my heart and soul, time and energy – my lifeforce – into creating fun toys, helpful and humane equipment, and educating vets, techs, trainers and pet owners about them. My name is on patents for products, I wrote instructions for many of them, my beloved pets have modeled for packaging. I boarded more flights than I ever wanted to take in my lifetime to share the great news of humane training, enrichment, and the human-animal bond with others across the country. It wasn’t just a job for me, it was a passion.

I have always avoided using force, fear or pain in dealing with our animal companions. Those methods are integral to the new parent company. What do I do now?

The lengthy and numerous discussions I’ve had with VIPs of the behavior community in trying to make a decision could probably fill a book. So many people were incredibly supportive and helpful. (You know who you are - thank you!) I can’t begin to cover all the points of consideration in this blog entry but that’s not today’s point anyway, so I won’t try.

Today’s point is: We must accept change, adapt to our (new) situation, and carry on with our own mission. It’s simple enough, but it won’t be easy. Nonetheless, that is what I intend to do.